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10 of the funniest product descriptions in buy mode

Reliably quirky and always fun, The Sims 4 has always made an effort to make us laugh with its in-game product descriptions. And as you browse and find new items to decorate your homes with, be sure to look at the item descriptions for a chuckle.

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Almost every product listing goes beyond just telling you what you’re buying and will crack a joke, tell you a story, or reference something in-game. Kudos to the team behind them – or HiFive High Fidelity Stereos, depending on their preference. We’ve combed through the expansive and ever-changing catalog to bring you some of the item descriptions we love the most.


ten See the snobbery in the beauty of negative space

Simmers who love to build rejoiced when Dream Home Decorator was released in June 2021. In addition to the ability to renovate townspeople’s homes for cash with the pack’s new career path, the game pack included a ton new furniture to mix and match.

Part of that was The Beauty of Negative Space double bed, whose product description gives pretentious details about how the art school teaches you “the concept of negative space and its impact on design.” After a full paragraph evaluating negative space, the description tells you that your education is over and asks for money. The description ends with the most apt reference to student loans we’ve ever seen: “Yeesh. Talk about being put in negative space.

9 Bitter Old Joe Jockey

Nothing like a nice steaming cup of coffee to wake you up in the morning. For some, it’s the bright spot of our day. But to get the same liveliness in-game, you’ll have to spend a bit more on your coffee maker instead of defaulting to the cheapest one.

The game makes no effort to tell you that this coffee won’t be overwhelming. “It has a feature that squirts hot water over the coffee grounds, producing a lightly browned liquid. Is that fancy? No. Does it do the job? We’ll say ‘Sure.’ With the Joe Jockey, your Sim gets the bare minimum: basic expenses, coffee, and maker worry.

8 Internet Meme Hall of Fame Member Butterfly McButterflyface

The internet has never been the best place to ask for product names. Some corners of it actually have a knack for the opposite. Enter James Hand, whose proposal to name a multi-million dollar research vessel “Boaty McBoatface”, was actually accepted.

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The product description itself raves about childhood wonder, asking, “It doesn’t actually fly, but if it did, how majestic would it be?” Don’t worry, though, because the Sims team knows the creativity of toddlers, believing they’ll “turn any ordinary object into a mythical creature with a funny name.”

seven The ultra-modern problem with the HDCurV flat-screen TV

Sometimes technological innovation can be amazing. Other times, we don’t know exactly why someone actually needs it. Enter the game’s first curved television in the City Living expansion.

It’s futuristic, of course, but is it necessary? The game says, “The future can be dazzled from ANY angle, at any time of day. The future invents a new fad to compel you to replace your existing and totally adequate home entertainment system for no apparent reason. We all love games that will say the nonsense that comes with enforced obsolescence.

6 Use Caution When Buying Baby Dino Nursery Art

The folks who design the wall art for play know you’d love a cute nursery for your baby, and they’ve got you and your little one covered – literally.

Always with our safety in mind, the game proudly claims that this cute little photo of a herbivore is “as harmless as can be, but we’ve locked it behind glass just to be safe.” Any company concerned about the safety of our children can have our Simoleons at any time.

5 Ask the real questions with a modern solid wood antique table

It’s as Mark Twain said, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

This dining table from Parenthood uses the buzzwords, but not without criticism, saying, “What is ‘modern antiquity’?” Good question! It’s modern, but we want it to look fresher so we can charge a little extra!” It compares itself to restaurants serving “freshly frozen” food, in a similar vein to how companies use words like “artisanal” on the same old product to sound fancy. Wordplay sells.

4 Pop becomes the plumber

We’ve already discussed benchmark humor in The Sims 4, and the game’s artwork is no exception. This piece of pop art is Andy Warhol’s reference – or one of his many in-game parodies.

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This particular piece is from “Tandy Warhole [who] studied with Tandy Warhol, who robbed Andy Warhol, who painted exactly like that. If you reach level five in the comedy branch of the artist career, you’ll unlock a new piece of pop art, painted by Amy Warthog.

3 Boldly illuminate dark spots using the spotlight

When The Sims 4 debuted, some of the lights left players feeling a bit dark – many players criticized the dimness and small size of the lights. Get to Work was the game’s first expansion, and one of the new lights in the pack fixed that in a big way.

The product description is typed in capital letters and warns players that “OUR BRIGHTNESS WILL NOT BE CONTAINED”. And, admittedly, the light is one of the brightest broadband available.

2 Creating Memories with Nobility

You expect a good piece of furniture to last through the years, and the Noblesse range hood reminds us that it will be there for us through it all, seeking to help you define the moments that define you.

The poetic description describes: “Smiling through tears at the birth of a child. The poignant last breath of a loved one. Smoke rises from the grease fire of your kitchen, into the arms of the universe. Any piece of furniture should be so confident.

1 The perfect product: the Portal pot

Normally, your Sims’ bathroom isn’t that remarkable, but the Portal Potty, as it’s described, just keeps on giving. The most enchanting part of Realm of Magic was its toilets.

The game says this throne won “#2 Time Traveling Toidy of the Year by Home & Loo Magazine”, and it’s no wonder why. With a simple flush, this toilet pretends to take your Sim to another dimension, complete with a friendly reminder to wash your hands before returning. What really takes the crown, though, is the fact that it features “a lid that doubles as a panini press,” because, why not?

NEXT: The Sims 4: What You Need To Know Before Buying Dream Home Decorator